July 2007

[Marc Franco]

Monday, July 30

Overheard Around Town

- "What do you think I am? The village idiot AND the village whore? I'm not here waiting for you with legs wide open! ...I am tired of looking like a fool for men like you." Sera telling off her boyfriend for leaving her high and dry!

- "I think dark ale And frilly...girly drinks can rot in hell." It's nice to know that even Darren has standards.

- "Cas, you're a guy who's always on your time of the month, so I don't tend to worry about being classy around you." G'nort being his usual classy self.

- "I'm a slut. I'd better not give myself a temptation." Jaycy declining an offer to hang out with Darren. Admitting your problem is the first step towards recovery, dear.

- "Celebrate and don't get laid all in one place. That's the saying right?" Charlie to Eve as she moves from DoD recruit to full-fledge hell-raiser. We're not even sure what saying she was going for there.... but amusing nonetheless!

- "Hmmmm, gotta give it to Brig. Love him or hate him, you've got respect his man-tasticness." Ha ha! Our fun vocab has infected Lem!!! The rest of you are next!!!

- "I had all these hopes that when I die I might be reincarnated as PJ's bra... Then I realized how lazy I was and I don't want to work that hard." Darren is going to get beat up someday very soon.

- "You've got that "up to no good" look on your face. I love that look." Said Evie to Baker. Does Baker have any other look???

- "Oh sure, you haven't had a parent sue ye because yer nether ray stunted their kid's growth." The Big Will Wulfson was overheard saying to Russ when Russ made fun of him for being afraid of dueling kids.

- "Icer! Eat the pig outside! You know how Panther is about blood on the floor." Kitty's always good for a good quote... or twelve.

[Marc Franco]

Monday, July 30

Double Nipple Trickle Brale Wednesday!

We hope this is the final straw for dear sweet Sugar. Wednesday night Darren was seen with Trash-tastic Jade in his lap. We already know that Darren has no respect for his girlfriend but does Jade truly have no respect for other women??? The pair was overheard talking about using Jade's breasts for brale-making with the King of Brale Baker and then seen going into the bathroom to attempt a never before attempted "double nipple trickle brale".

Our Evie arrived later and evidently she's come to accept that Baker will have his hands on other women's ta-tas because she didn't seem all that upset to find her man drinking brale. In fact, instead of lecturing Baker, she lectured Jade for letting the boys talk her into that mess!!!

...We have a feeling that innocent Sugar will not be as understanding if word gets around to her.

Over in the Iron Fists Garden, Jaycy finally found an opponent immune to her feminine wiles and promises of free love!!! Team Fists' walking venereal disease faced off against the cutie pootie rat Napoleon from Badside Brawlers! She fell prey to that Rat-tastic cuteness, losing to the PiRATe 5-1!!!

Maybe with Bad Boy Darren giving his attentions to Trash-tastic Jade, Boy Toy Val will have a real chance of winning DoD-er Rena for good!!! The pair was spotted in the Garden looking VERY close. They shared a couple of lip smacks and some whispered words. STEAMY!!!

[Marc Franco]

Monday, July 30

Goon-licious Thursday!

Poor Sera just can't seem to keep a man on the straight and narrow. Thursday night in the Inn her current flame Darkmere was seen flirting with the Gov Kitty who he shared a brief fling with. He was overheard telling Kitty how good she smelled and massaging her neck!!! Poor Psycho Ex-Girlfriend Sera!!!

Kitty, on the other hand, wasn't too concerned with Darkmere. Instead, she was laying into Darren for pouring brale over the breasts of a woman other than his cute little blonde witch of a girlfriend!!! Darren BLAMED his cheating ways on Sugar for refusing to leave her room. Wow. Just plain wow!!!

Our sources spotted Goon in the Arena Thursday night!!! NO LIE!!! He tumbled oh-so ungracefully down the stairs before landing in a cute pile on the floor. The only thing that would have made it cuter is if Taneth was there to hug him after his fall!!!

The Iron Fists Garden was packed full of talented fighters! Dawn certainly wasn't making any friends while she dueled Val. She was down right nasty with Boy Toy Val but he got the last laugh by taking the win over her. Dawn certainly wasn't happy! She stormed her way out of the Garden!

Also in a bad mood was Ladies' Man Tony who blamed it on not having enough to eat. Typically we don't report on the sibling rivalry in the Wrecking Crew because... well, it happens so much it really isn't news. Unfortunately, not much else happened Thursday night. Anyway, Tony's sister Maria and his sister-in-law Ria had been joking around when he snapped at the pair! He was also seen storming out!!! But Ria was in hot pursuit to buy the kid a pizza (which from what we've heard of Tony probably made everything a-okay) while Bode was seen distracting his wife by leading her out for a dinner of their own.

[Marc Franco]

Tuesday, July 31

Exotic Dancer Friday!

What a sexy combination!!! Chryrie and Taneth eating strawberries smothered in chocolate!!! The only thing that would be more delicious would be those two ladies coooovered in chocolate. The pair chatted together while they ate their decadent dessert in peace. Very HAWT!!!

In the Inn's basement, G'nort found a woman after his own heart in the new caller Teagan. She suggested that the DoS Supervisor Chris G make a deal with a local strip joint, stating that he could replace the hollowed banners with cages for exotic dancers!!! Oddly enough, G'nort wasn't too keen on the idea. We believe that Chris might be a more.... receptive audience. And, quite frankly, we're surprised that G'nort's head kept his fabled love of the female body in check!!!

The Crew's Tony didn't seem to be in any better of a mood as he faced off against Kung Fu Theater's cutie pootie Uriko in his IFL match! He didn't even attempt his usual clueless charm that seems to rake the hawties in!!! Is something wrong in Graziano World??? Perhaps Tony finally let himself fall for a girl who's broken his heart!!! We're dying to know!!!

.... or maybe we're just dying to break up this boring week!!!

[Marc Franco]

Tuesday, July 31

TRASH-tastic Saturday!

Saturday night found Darren AGAIN looking forlorn at the bar. This time he was discussing his relationship woes with the looovely Piper. We wonder if Darren ever thought that if he quit hitting on everything in a skirt, he might not have relationship woes. Our Piper CERTAINLY didn't mince words with Bad Boy Darren. She quite clearly told him that if Sugar was having issues with his flirtatious encounters with other women and he wanted to have a healthy relationship with Sugar then he should STOP THE FLIRTATIOUS ENCOUNTERS!!!

Even with as bluntly as Piper speaks, we still don't think it sank in.

A mini RU/DoD convention commenced as Baker, Evie, Rena, and Charlie were all spotted at... well, where else? The Inn's bar. Derek and Piper joined them for a conversation that was at the best of times hard to follow and at the worst down right naughty! Baker was, in fact, overheard asking Piper how much she charged for.... well, pleasuring men. Needless to say, the DoD girls were not pleased with his manners!!!

Down in the Inn's basement Arena, Gabe was overheard telling G'nort and the caller on duty Rhaine that he is planning on marrying TRASH-tastic Jade. It was unclear if he had already asked or not... and we probably just gave away the surprise because you KNOW TRASH-tastic Jade is a fan of yours truly! All we can say is... 3 weeks. Tops. This one will set a new record in the time it takes them to get from the chapel to their attorney's office.

Jewell was spotted in the Iron Fists Garden for her match looking a bit under the weather and quite thin!!! Now rumor has it that she's pregnant and, if so, somebody needs to get the girl a cheeseburger. Absolutely NO baby bump so far. Our sources tell us that she's been telling people that she's been quite ill. Is the blue-haired fae being hit hard by morning sickness?

[Marc Franco]

Tuesday, July 31

The Irony is in the Territory Sunday!

How do we love EFFORTLESS Kairee??? Let us count the ways!!! Sunday night she got a nasty look from a patron who didn't seem to like the wink she gave that patron's man friend. Kairee found the incident amusing and baffling at the same time. She and Darkmere had a highly entertaining and almost intellectual conversation on why humans react territorial in regards to mates.

...The most ironic part of this? One of the MOST territorial women in RhyDin in Super Pyscho Ex-Girlfriend Sera was sitting right beside Darkmere!!! In fact, he was actually petting her while talking to EFFORTLESS Kairee. Oh, Darkmere. We sense your undoing at the hands of that pretty little filly Sera.... and you do not even see it coming!!!

Despite her blossoming relationship with Darkmere, Sera's not quite over the broken engagement with Feilas. She was overheard by our sources spilling her problems to her former boyfriend's sister Kira. Kira was a doll as she always is!! She was kind and attentive as her friend poured out her problems. We HEART this girl!!!

We also HEART gnome love!!! Sandy and her main man Gnimish declared it Umpire Day and brought in a wonderfully smelling cake for the caller on duty -- Rory! Rory was thrilled with her fellow baker's present and the couple seemed thrilled at making the cute as a button caller so happy! HOW SWEET!

Over in the Iron Fists Garden Anubis and Charlie exchanged some veiled threats during their IFL match!!! SLUTTACIOUS Charlie came away with the tightly fought win but was also left with a badly sprained ankle that left her limping away. Perhaps trying to make up for their tension earlier in the season, Artemus who had been calling the match was quick to lend a hand and bandages to the DoD-er.

[Marc Franco]

Tuesday, July 31

HYPOCRITE Monday!

Rumor has it that YUMMY Ewan was overheard Monday night telling Kitty to have Elly sign him up for the auction to benefit her clinc!!! INSERT FAN BOY SCREAM HERE!!! We are totally going to start saving up our money now! Ewan is an absolute dish.... even if he did dump the DIVINE Storm!!! We can't help but forgive him.

Not only are we told that Ewan was out and about but Sid and her man Scottie were also spotted!!! Dreamy sigh! Sid was not too happy with Darren's recent.... adventures. She slung one zinger after another his way while tending bar. You don't mess with Den Mama Sid's cubs!!!

According to what we've heard despite all the pretty faces in the Inn, the real party on Monday night was in the Outback!!! As that is where the girls of DoD (including Rena, PJ, and Charlie) had gathered some of their closest girlfriends (Piper, Erin, Taneth, and later in the night Lassie Cassie) to celebrate Koy's wedding (which is this Sunday!) with LOOOOOTS of alcohol and girl talk!!!

We hear things got preeeeeetty wild!

The SLUTTACIOUS PJ was seen flashing her panties several times! Piper was overheard describing the man of her dreams in vivid and NAUGHTY details! Taneth was seen throwing back shots... of apple juice... and dancing in circles with Koy until they both fell over in exhaustion!!! Even SMASHING Issy joined in on the fun -- alternating between turning down G'nort's advances and snickering at the girls' antics!

Cor was also spotted enjoying the ladies drunken debauchery! He was overheard flirting with SLUTTACIOUS Charlie and Cute Single Erin who were entangled in one another and, evidently, promising some sort of "two for one" deal. Good Boy Cor once again proved that we may have labeled him incorrectly by considering the deal!!! Iiiinteresting how he skewers Bad Boy Darren for his many leering incidents for not being true to his girlfriend but doesn't seem to be all that hard set on being monogamous to her twin! MAJOR hypocrite!!!

After muuuuch alcohol was consumed and the girls had talked of everything from sex to dress shopping for the big event, they eventually stumbled home in pairs. A very entertaining night to say the least!!!

We are SUPER happy for FLAWLESS Koy and her MAN-tastic Matt!!! We cannot wait until Sunday night!!! We're planning on being there in our finest!

Jewell was also spotted in the Outback but she didn't join in the festivities. She had a quiet night talking with G'nort about marriage and dueling. She certainly didn't appear well again. We're still not completely buying this pregnancy rumor!

All in all it was a FANTASTIC night of gossip! We cannot wait to watch the fallout!