Tales from the Packet Drawer - Conversational Bric-A-Brac

[Betty Liski]

Fitzroy Cab Company, Seaside

An Exchange between Bart Fitzroy and Betty Liski

Bart took the front of his orange, Big Daddy Roth-inspired Fitzroy Cab Company t-shirt and fluttered it, hoping to get some air moving on the unseasonably still and unreasonably hot summer day in Seaside, his other hand occupied in keeping his patacon sandwich from dribbling down his person. He and an off-work Betty Liski leaned against the wall at the back of the dispatch office, watching the horizon for any hint of a change in weather. "Hey, you n' Coydog didn't find my little... pokey-hole thing in space without me with your new telescope, didja?"

Betty looked like an extra from a Tim Burton remake of Beach Party A-Go-Go, from the shark-mouth cuff on her wrist, the black-and-white striped bikini, and smudgy dark makeup that contrasted with the sea of freckles across her skin. She crossed one leg over the other, clapping a flip-flop against her heel as the air's stillness started to get under her skin. "Naaah, nah. I wouldn't even know what t'look fowah." She leaned forward as a glob of sauce escaped from her sandwich, splatting onto the hot pavement. "What wazzat like, berstin' through to a whole otha... yooniverse?"

"Fuck. I don't even know, Betty." He sighed through his teeth and swapped out his square-rimmed specs for a pair of aviator sunglasses, at the same time that the waitress dropped her round, oversized shades over her own eyes to block the light from the sun's descent. "I can barely remember leaving, some days." He scratched at the back of his head, thankful that his shades covered the heaviness in his gaze from the stuff he did remember. "I just remembered that I'd just... I'd fuckin' had it. I was done."

"Mm..." Betty balled up her sandwich's wrapping once she'd polished it off and stuck it back in the to-go bag from the Sol y Mar Venezuelan food truck that hummed around Seaside. "I wasn't. I was owan my way t'see my brotha play djrums fa Black Francis' byeackup band owan Halloween." She dropped down to crouch for a moment, elbows on knees, chin in her hands. "I love the fuckin' Pixies."

"... Shit, I wanna see that." He managed to take down about another quarter of his sandwich before wrapping it up in its paper and sliding it behind him, off into some little sconce in space-time before wiping off his hands. "Alright, I gotta get back to it." He passed Betty a 16 oz. Tupperware container packed full of little green buds that appeared covered in frost. "Gotcha some White Widow. You get me a tray of lemon squares, we'll be set."

".. Oo." She raised her sunglasses to look over the contents of the container. "I'm gonna try from screeyatch, maybe. Hey, thanks fa buyin'--" By the time she looked back, Bart had already vanished. "--lunch. Huh. Oh well." With a secretive look left, then right, she stood from her crouch and reached down to pick her black denim cutoffs out of her crack and scamper off toward her apartment with a little extra pep in her step.

[Betty Liski]

Hot Betty's, Dockside Food Truck Park

"Mmkay, so lemme get dis stchraight, Theresa." Betty once more leaned on the VW Bus' counter as she conversed with her latest customer, a nagini in black and white monochrome with her lower half mostly emulating an electric eel. "This guy... he's gat a pet rat..."

"Uhhhh-huh." Theresa grinned broadly, showing that frightening front row of viciously sharp teeth behind the slick sheen of black-painted lips. The subsequent rows kept their smile as she nipped off a little bit more of her Key Lime Crumble edible and settled into her coils. She held the tip of her tail flat as a spot to settle both her little espresso beverage and her cannabis-infused confection as she fussed with the hem of her tailcoat and strap of her halter beneath.

"... whose named 'Big Bwoalls'--" Betty sputtered into a sweet, high little titter for a brief moment, stifling herself with a hooked finger and a knuckle pressing to her lips.

"... Uh-huh." The memaid-naga-eel crossed her arms and returned to her serrated smile, knocking her cat-glasses back into place with an uptick of her head.

"... who he puts in his mouth fa.. fa tourists--P-ppppbh-Hahahahahahaa!!" The baker finally cracked up, her forehead in her palms as her form quivered in silent laughter.

Theresa sipped her cortado and looked on, her face the definition of smug satisfaction. "Yyyyyyup."

"He puts Big Bwoalls in his mouth fa tourists!!! Aaaaaahahahaaaaa!!! Oh boy... oh..." Eventually, as her gigglefit died down, Betty knuckled away her laugh-tears, still tittering here and there in aftershock as she set to straightening up her little bakery. "I am... hopelessly immatchoowah, huh."

"Yeah..." Theresa toasted her with the foamy dregs of her beverage. "You're still cute, though." She punctuated the statement with a playful snap from each row of teeth in turn and a wink.

"STA~AAAAAHP!!!" It didn't take much, but the Brooklynite's cheeks soon matched the VW Bus' pink paintjob beneath her freckles.

[Coydog]

Sibling Blithering - November 27th, Earth Year 2020. Seaside, Rhydin

So it was that copious amounts of sweet mary jane had temporarily eased the tension Coydog felt whenever April near. Every long, lean inch of her was stretched out along a beach chair planted in the sand behind Bart's house. The pajama clad blonde blew out a great plume of earthy smoke and passed the joint to her sister. For the moment life was good. Both women seemed content to marvel at the vast, dark expanse of the churning sea. It was a frontier where neither rambler had tread before. Yet. The crashing waves hypnotized a thoroughly stoned Coydog, but she managed a groggy "Hey, Ape?"

April's idea of sleepwear made her look like Matthew McConaughey dressed up; linen shirt and pants, with wood frog-buttons. She was... so happy to be exactly where she was, staring out across the sea as it caught the twin glint of the moons. "Hrh..." She still had a while before the stimpak withdrawals would really start, but no reason not to enjoy the calm before the storm. "What's up, Pup?"

Coydog swallowed hard and pulled herself up just enough to roll onto her side to face the Ranger. "Ape, do you ever feel like you're not human?" Casual, as if she were relaying the time, yet there was still weight to her words. An unbidden yawn gripped her and a sudden snap of pain seemed to startle her. She jerked, reached up, and probed the splitting scab marring her bottom lip; one of many souvenirs from her fight with April the night before.

April sat still, really chewing on the question. Her brow creased. Then-- "Naw, the Rangers fixed me rrright up about that. Hard work beats talent, n' I got the beatin's to prove it." She paused, scowled, and turned to Coydog. "You didn't mean it like, 'do I think I'm better than people,' didja?"

Coydog poked at her wounded lip one more time before drawing her tongue back into her mouth. She looked, with her furrowed brow and sudden frown, almost disappointed in her big sister's reply. "No. I already knew the answer to that one," but she couldn't help but smile; just a small curl of her lips but no less amused for the wince it birthed.

"Well good for you; I'm high as a kite." April reached into the sand next to her, pulling up a cold Modelo and taking a healthy swig. "Sometimes I feel like I'm... possessed when I'm fighting." She swallowed dryly, then followed up with another sip of beer. "That's about it... until I think of the next thing. I don't reflect much..." She looked down to the crater in the sand where she'd un-stuck her bottle, then siiiiiighed. "... What about you?"

The blonde was plucking at a loose strand of nylon on the chair. "Possessed, yeah. Maaaybe that's a family thing, chief?" And then April turned that question back around on her, leaving Coydog wide eyed and struck dumb. Her fingers stilled their fidgeting. "I have a robotic spine, a robotic heart, a robotic fucking eyeball. My skeleton is re-enforced with something. Most wild animals won't attack me. I pretty much know I'm not human at this point." A spew of words that flitted through her head and past her lips fast, like a school of chaotic baby fish. She took a deep breath and plastered on a toothy grin. "So....I guess I have. Hasn't everybody?"

(Thanks to April-mun for their half of this <3)