KGM Rally

[XanthVanBokkelen]

October 30, 2022





Night was beginning to set in on the outskirts of RhyDin City. There was a grassy clearing in the nearby forest where a
rally was set up for fans of the IFL Team King's Gambit. A wooden platform and podium stood in front, along with torches
to light up the area. Various orcs, goblins, and other creatures of RhyDin had assembled to support their favorite team
before the new season started.

After a time, Varseen the goblin, one of Xanth's henchmen, came out to a chorus of boos and jeers. As tomatoes filled
the air around him, Varseen put his hands up to ward them off. "HEY! HEY! I know you don't want to hear from me! Just
wait a minute! I'm here to introduce the Lich you're all here to see! The mastermind behind your two time IFL
Champions! Orcs and Orcettes, Boys and Ghouls, here he is, Xanth Van Bokkelen!"

A chorus of cheers, howls, and warcries greeted Xanth as he strode out onto the platform. Xanth shifted his ruby gaze
around those gathered as if soaking up the adulation, then he lifted a black gloved hand to silence the crowd.

So, my loyal minions, another season of IFL is upon us. Your team, King's Gambit, return as reigning Champions. As
well we should. No other team in this league displays the talent, the ambition, and the unity that this team does. So
know that when you frequent the Iron Fists Garden, or when you purchase King's Gambit merchandise, your time and money go to
providing more of such victories (minus my royalties of course, HmmHmmHaHaHaHa). This city treats you as punching bags,
mere creatures and monsters worthy of scorn and derision. However, know that you can live vicariously through the victories
we here at King's Gambit provide.

This is no idle boasting on my part. This team has the potential to accomplish something no other IFL team has, three
Championships. We will surpass Real RhyDin and even the vaunted Badside Brawlers at this season's end. And how, you say,
will we achieve this? Besides the power and strength of our elite fighters?

Here, Xanth withdraws the clipboard from beneath his black robes and points to it.

Analytics. HmmHmmHaHaHaHa. This object you so facetiously call the "Clipboard of Doom" contains the advanced mathematic
equations necessary for us to claim triumph once more. Now wouldn't Simon like to get his hands on this piece of information?
So rest easy, devotees, and know that we will furnish another season of broken jaws and broken dreams! There is no one in
this League or this City that can stop us now!

"WHAT HO! I have discovered your lair of evil! A veritable viper's nest of villainy!" At the edge of a clearing, his gleaming
steel armor sparkling in the torchlight, strode a horned helmed, 7 foot tall Paladin, pointing his finger accusingly at Xanth.

"HOLY $%@# IT'S PALADIN JIM!" The cry went up, and most of the lesser creatures went scampering for their lives.

"I have tracked you these endless months, to deliver a most righteous and well-deserved chastening! And now, oh black hooded
blackguard! Oh ruby eyed rapscallion! Justice shall be dispatched in a most coarse and rigid fashion!" Paladin Jim finished
by shaking his steel covered fist at Xanth.

Who let this clown into our proceedings? Where are my guards? Why are you letting this harebrained nut stand there and run
his mouth? Xanth said, waving his arms furiously.

"Before I unleash a holy storm of fury, let us pray." Paladin Jim drops to one knee, and puts his fist against his forehead.
"Oh Lord, for this righteous smiting I am about to impart upon this dark spewing fountain of iniquity, fill my unworthy body
with strength, courage, and an untiring sword arm. Amen."

HE'S JUST KNEELING THERE PRAYING YOU LAMEBRAINS! JUMP ON HIM! Xanth cried furiously, pumping his fists in the air.

"An army of the most murkiest hearted of malefactors could not stop me from my devout cause! Your terror ends tonight!" Jim was
striding towards the podium as best he could, with four orcs trying desperately to hold him back from Xanth. "BEGONE!" He flexed
his muscles, and the orcs went flying backwards. "Now! I shall draw my implement of reprisal! The "Majestic Blade of Holy Vengeance"
shall not be denied!" Jim pulled the large mass of iron from behind his back, brandishing it at Xanth. "May I be avenged upon this
dastardly devil! For all that is sacred, TAKE THIS!" Jim swung his blade downwards, and Xanth's podium exploded into a cloud of
splintered wood.

AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! I will BUST YOUR SKULL for this! You will pay for this outrage! Xanth barked at Jim, then waved to
the creatures still there. Retreat, my comrades! I will find a way to crush him and exact my revenge! Xanth then crossed his
arms and floated upwards, far into the sky until he couldn't be seen any more. One of the perks of being the new Keeper of Air.

"COME BACK HERE YOU SPINELESS SINNER! I will pursue you to the end of the universe! None can escape the virtuous fury of . . . .
PALADIN JIM!" He exclaims, lifting his sword into the air.

"Besides . . . I am a Team Fist fan." He said to himself, as he sheathed his weapon and stormed out of the clearing.